Thoughts
by IceFire
Summary: Random things running through a student's mind one day (read to find out who ^_^). I was bored and felt a sudden need to write a POV. Please R


Disclaimer: I don't own anything having to do with Harry Potter, I'm not making any money, I promise to return all characters unharmed, etc. etc.  
  
A/N: I had a sudden urge to write a POV fic. It should be painfully obvious who's thinking about whom. If you can't figure it out you either haven't read the books or you aren't trying hard enough. If you really can't think of it,  
  
e-mail me (look at my bio for my address) and I'll tell you. Please R&R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even flames are appreciated (at least you read it and cared enough to comment).  
  
1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Why do you always sit there, laughing and smiling that gorgeous smile, taunting me with visions of your perfect little world. You have friends, unlike me. I never hated you, as much as you hurt me by turning down the offer of my friendship. The thought that I wasn't good enough for someone sent me for somewhat of a loop. Then you had to go and become popular, with practically the whole castle groveling at your feet, all because of something you don't even remember, that you have no idea how you did. So I'm stuck over here on the other side of the hall, watching your happy group of friends eat, while I sit with the entire table around me either deep in conversation with each other, trying to suck up to me, or simply staring wistfully like me at what they can't have.  
  
You've been too busy hating me to realize how much we have in common. Both the star of our respective houses, having both grown up in far from perfect families, and both adored by the female student body. The other day, 2 Ravenclaws in the library were listing the "hottest guys at Hogwarts". Guess who numbers 1 and 2 were.  
  
She was definitely right about you. With those unbelievably bright green eyes and stunning smile it's no wonder you have a group of girls trailing you around the castle; they always sigh when they see the way you look at Cho. Every time you do that, a little part of me dies. It's obvious you're not gay. Even if you were, I'd be the last person on your mind.  
  
I wonder if she would change her mind if she knew about this cursed mark on my forearm, or about the fact that I'm gay. I didn't want this mark here, not in the least, but I doubt anyone in the entire school would believe that I didn't agree wholeheartedly what the Death Eaters did, that I thought they were on the losing side and Voldemort would never come back to power. Nor would they even come remotely close to believing that my faith in you was what led me to that conclusion. If you were powerful enough to defeat him when you were only an infant, how could you not do it as an at least partially trained older wizard. Besides, with Pansy constantly hanging on my arm, if I were straight I'd probably be forced to marry her eventually, and that would become my definition of a living hell. Although with a father like mine around it's best not to say things like that, unless of course I feel the sudden urge to be hit with the Cruciatus curse until I'm obedient.  
  
With a life like mine, it's no wonder I act as bitter as I do. To be honest, I don't enjoy it. Who would like being glared at with utter hatred every time they passed by; or being called by their last name all the time, as if they didn't even deserve to have a first name because that would make them a *person*? Just because I'm in Slytherin and act like I don't have feelings doesn't mean it's true. Sure, a lot of us are desperate to become Death Eaters, but not every single one of us. I'm sure no one would be able to stomach the fact that some in our house cry themselves to sleep.  
  
I would give anything I have to join your group, but whenever I swallow my pride and try to be nice all I get is scorn, although I probably deserve it after the way I treat you and all your friends. But then of course I return whatever you gave me tenfold, and the cycle continues. Will you ever realize these things? Most likely not, you'll be too absorbed in your little circle, and I'll continue being bitingly sarcastic and aloof, the Slytherin ice child. 


End file.
